yikes.

My senior year fall semester is winding down. It doesn't feel like I should be a senior. Am I getting a little tired of taking classes? yes. Do I feel old enough to enter the 'real world'? eh...

Perhaps you felt like this once too, if you've already graduated from college. Or perhaps not? All I know is the thought of student teaching, then applying for jobs and etc. etc. is started to freak me out just a tad.

thats all.

Now I must get back to writing the papers that I have for so long procrastinated on.

each week is week 1

I just finished week 4 of camp. This means that the summer is half over (which is so crazy to my mind). The counseling staff for the middle school section of camp that I'm with called Fort Roller is well....amazing. Really. Ministry is so so much more effective i think if you are unified. Not just meaning that you are all there for the same purpose, something deeper. There is a trust between us all that is crazy cool and the people are just really super enjoyable to be around, so there is a lot of laughter to be had. Lets be honest...everyone loves to laugh (its even good for your abs!).
The first week of camp with campers was great. Me and my co-counselor Jenny's cabin was just amazing...the girls got along well, they for the most part had hearts that were ready to listen to the gospel and they were just fun in general. Please understand that this hardly EVER happens first week. Usually the first week of camp is pure chaos...craziness...and no one really knows what they are doing. SO since the opposite happened, i was convinced that God gave us this week in order for us to hold onto it because we were about to get hit hard with some tough weeks to come. The next two weeks were so so challenging. We had girls who were just really rough, didn't listen, had really hard hearts, attitudes, image problems ect. Don't get me wrong...these girls are pretty much the reason i come to camp. When God uses you to break walls in their lives, the feeling of experiencing can't really be defined in my book.
Every week is a new challenge here. It seems like as soon as i get the hang out how to minister to, live with and be a friend/leader to one set of girls...God gives us a completely different set.
Basically i say this to say thanks for praying, even if you've just prayed once...its helped to strengthen us and move Jesus there. Keep praying if you think about it, whenever you think about it...just shoot one on up.

Also...on a side note, i, Jennifer Booze have in fact braided a black girls hair.

much love!

ello

it has been quite a while since i've been in the blog world actually writing a blog. Mostly, i just stalk (in un-creepy ways) other people's blogs (that i know) that actually keep up with them. Matt Berbert and Katie Kosko, i for one applaud your keeping up with your blog abilities and thank you for always trying to write something that is captivating, deep, funny, emotional, and at times inspirational all in one blog.


Today, June 13 2008, at around 3pm, i am leaving my quaint little house to be a counselor at River Valley Ranch. I am going to be a middle school girls counselor until August 15th. Being a counselor is probably one of the coolest, most rewarding, frustrating, challenging, fun things i've ever done and i feel blessed to be used to play a part in these kids lives. No matter how much i love it, there is always a part of me on the day i have to leave that gets super nervous. I dont know what to expect ever, its a constant changing place with new faces and new experiences. At the end of the summer, i ususally look back to this nervousness and laugh...or stand confused as to why it would have even happen. If you all think about it, please pray for this summer, for the camp and for the kids that will be there. Pray that they really experience Jesus, in ways that the world isn't used to, in ways that impact them and refine them. Pray for the counselors, that we dont forget what we've been called to, that we put ourselves aside everyday and that we are refining ourselves too so each day we can live it out.

and hopefully...i'll learn to do my hair like this:

love and peace. I'll try to blog on the weekend...when the internet is available.
if you feel so inclined, mail me a letter of the post office variety. why? Because recieving a letter in the mail is close to the equivalent feeling of finding gold. I'll write you back, so then you can also experience the same feeling!

mail it to:

Jennifer "insert your own personal describing word here" Booze - Fort Roller

River Valley Ranch

4443 Grave Run Rd.

Manchester, MD 21102

from my mind.

i've been really hung up on this Bethany Dillon lyric for quite sometime now...

because the more i fight it, the more i love You

i feel like so much of me sometimes is doing just that - fighting, resisting, putting off what God could do. Now, i'm not saying that i completely disregarded God or lost my Love for him. No, not in the least. i guess i just so often find myself saying 'hey God...seems like i took things into my own hands again and well, looks like once again i can't do this alone'. Repeatedly this world drags me in, without me realizing, which is more a fault of mine then the world. i've found myself thinking before that the reason i felt drained, bogged, overwhelmed -whatever you want to call it - is because i haven't fully surrendered to God. Do i then go do it, right then, right when i recognize it? nope. This part of my soul frustrates me. The stubborn, unwilling, bleh part of me.

if i had a friend who treated me the way i treat God sometimes, i'd probably get real real tired of them. but no, not God.

...this is where the part of the lyric that says '...the more i love You' fits in. God always takes me back. He takes my wandering, filthy heart back. This fascinates me. i follow a God that doesn't hold grudges, who is constant and that steadfast. It makes my heart want to hold stronger. i shouldn't kick around a Love like that. and i do. from an outsiders view i would tell myself 'man. you're crazy or something..'. There is nothing like His love. nothing at all. not now. not ever. And i love when my silly little heart comes back to that great big realization.

i want to say that i've learned my lesson and that i'll never wander again.
but i don't know. i never know. God's made me real conscience of it now though.
And well...He knows the rest. i'm really cool with knowing that.

back

Hey - i have not blogged in quite sometime. far too long to be exact.
so...this is me saying, i'm back.

i'll write a real blog later when i have some thoughts collected.

This School Year I...

...moved into an apartment with a lot of girls I didn't know too well
...found friendships with those women that can last till we're old and wrinkled
...led a bible study with one of those quality friends
...was scared out of my mind and challenged
...found a church i really like
...experienced my 1st broken heart
...didn't feel complete
...had friends I certainly didn't deserve at times - but was very thankful for
...trusted and sought God more
...prayed more
...traveled outside the country
...learned I don't have everything together - and that's okay.
...eventually put almost all the peices of my heart back together
...started to love people without an agenda
...felt connected and disconnected, passionate and passion-less
...contradicted myself at times
...recognized the heart (both mine and others)
...saw prayer work - and was amazed at my amazement of it.
...laughed hardier
...shared my story
...yearned for other people to experience Jesus
...wanted to see the core of people, who they really are
...went on adventures
...saw how the Lord is molding some people
...had moments where I didn't act like the person I wanted to be
...was frusterated
...was filled
...was thankful
...grew. realized it. and wanted it.
...felt valued by God
...realized its okay to ask for help
...learned to love and to accept love
...was changed
..........am better for it happening

the current

i wish it was warm enough to go kayaking.
i have the urge to go out on the river, there's just something about it thats indescribable. When i'm out in my kayak, i like to lean back in the seat in the silence and let my mind roll to whatever it wants. To me, this is one of the most peaceful experiences ever. Whenever my mind stops wandering, or reality starts to set in once again and i sit up in my seat, i'm never where i was when i began. The river carries me to a different part of it, sometimes in a different direction and i never realize this has happened until i'm there.

and i was thinking today .... that's kind of like life.

Hello

After talking with Drea and Randi, I decided to blog. Why? That's a question that I still have no definite answer to.

I've been thinking about this for a little more then a few days:
Last week I was in Boston for spring break. A conversation Lynsie and I had with a gentleman on Tuesday had an affect on me. We had been interviewing people all day on the street asking them what they thought about God, as part of a video documentary for ethne voices. When we approached this man with the question, he began to tell us why he thought...or rather why he knew God must exist. He talked about intricate things in the world that change without the help of man, like the seasons. He told us about the beauty and change around us to take note of and how obvious Gods presence is.

The thing that gets me is that this man was homeless. I find that amazing because honestly - he's at a place where it would be pretty easy to either deny God, or think God was out to get you. But- all he wanted to do was praise the Lord. From the outside its almost obvious to say this man had nothing. When you start to see things from his eyes, you realize he actually has everything he needs.

That's all for Blog number 1. Will there be more? Sure? Maybe? Yes? who knows.

Go. Live. Be.
-Jenn-